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Also, if he gets that I am thinking that maybe I should get a small part-time job.  I can't earn enough to help whilst dh is on benefit (they would take off more benefit than I could earn) but when dh gets a job, we will need an amount to make up - when you come off benefits there is a gap when you lose ALL benefits but don't make enough to cover that loss - making it almost not worthwhile getting jobs!

I'm not sure how much I could physically DO - I haven't worked out the home for about 25 years, I could do something like Receptionist at a local ER - maybe 3 nights a week.  Or filling shelves at a local supermarket over night.  I prefer the ER idea, but there is nothing at the moment.  Maybe you could pray that we will deal with this and finally get on top of things.

A christian insolvency type company is helping us deal with creditors etc.  has come up with a budget - it allows us a 3p excess (think 3c) per month!  So our debt could be cleared in just over 19,000 years!!!!  That is the main reason for us trying to earn more!
]]> Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:39:27 fuzzyliz http://www.theswap.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1258736269/ http://www.theswap.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1258736269/#num1 ]]> Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:57:49 Genesis http://www.theswap.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1258733936/ http://www.theswap.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1258733936/#num1 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:18:56 Gods_grace http://www.theswap.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1258679025/ http://www.theswap.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1258679025/#num1 I'm lonely, very lonely. There's just not much to do in my little town. My friends all have loving husbands to spend time with. I'm alone every day and every night. The evenings are long and lonely.

I'm just not ready for love, but I sure want to find a companion. A God fearing man who will treasure me for who I am and who isn't afraid of commitment. (short of marriage) I want someone to visit places with and go to the occasional movie with and discuss things with. I want to talk and laugh and just be with someone.

Would you please pray with me for this?]]> Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:03:45 Flamingo Sherri http://www.theswap.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1258643429/ http://www.theswap.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1258643429/#num1
Let me pick up where we left off.  We returned from Fergus Falls on Monday, but didn’t get home until after 8:30 p.m., I just couldn’t get Kari moving.

There seems to be more bad days than good lately.  Kari has cut almost all forms of narcotics, except the Fentanyl patch, she says that she just doesn’t like what they do to her.  Her mom and I spoke at length today and she pointed out, I researched and agree, that most of the ailments that she is complaining about now are listed on the “known side effects” literature of the patch.  I am begging her to rethink her 500 mg patch dosage!  

I had to really fight to get her to eat today; she has now decided that she doesn’t want to eat anymore.  I explained to her that it is ok for her to let go, and let God, but it is NOT ok for her to give up.  We have been doing a great deal of praying today.  If I have ever felt overwhelmed in this battle, today was the day.  I’m just having a little pity party I guess.  I know there our so many out there that really care but I feel so alone when Kari doesn’t fight, and I know that she can’t always fight, some days you just don’t have it in you.

I got her to eat two poached eggs this morning, broiled Cod and Broccoli for lunch and a chicken leg for dinner, it was like pulling teeth!  I also got her to drink 2 half Isagenix shakes, with additional protein included.  She is just so thin.  I am really going to get aggressive to get her to eat.  I did some juicing this morning and she has yet to drink any of that.

I’m very tired.

I moved back in to the master bedroom with her last night.  I finally turned off the light around 2:30 a.m., but she woke me when she got up to use the restroom around 3:00 a.m. and fell trying to find her way to the door.

It’s shower time again and she really won’t discuss it, hopefully all of my coaxing to get her to eat will afford her some additional strength tomorrow.  I’m running out of ideas and strength myself.

I don’t want to beat her up too much, I really want to encourage her to stay strong, she has been through so much already.

Last year three dear friends came by and decorated the house for the holidays, since then, one of them has had surgery, with a slow recovery, the other has a husband (Jeff) fighting his own life and death struggle with a rare form of cancer.  At this point I haven’t decided if I’ll be decorating or not, it would be the first time since we got married over 32 years ago that we don’t decorate, that was always Kari’s passion.  We may be going to Rob and Tiffany’s for Christmas, depending on how Kari is feeling.  I thought we’d just take the motor home and pack Danielle, Gabrielle, (their friend) Kari and I and we’d all head up for a few days over Christmas.  If Kari doesn’t really get serious I just don’t see how she’ll be going.

Keep praying, thank you for being there.

Terry

]]> Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:10:29 Gina